There are only four things to do to achieve new goals in your relationship.
What gets in the way is your focus, environment and feelings.
If you're not excited about the future, you're focussed on drama. It's costing you a lot. How many hours has it cost you that you haven't been excited and ignited that passion in your relationship and mission on earth? How many people have missed out on your positive impact? How much money is your lost hours worth? What's the first step to changing this?
Change your environment, change your results.
If you date your partner, and have some fun, it'll be the perfect time for you to step 2.
2. Start talking about the future.
Here's a great question:
"If there were no outcomes, what would you love to experience in the next 12 weeks, 1 year and 10 years?
A conversation should do it though.
When I first met my now wife, we agreed how many kids we wanted, and we wanted to live by the beach as our dream. Both have been achieved. Of course not without the usual unexpected devastating life stuff that happens to everyone. My point is, if it's your person, start talking about it and you'll get to step three naturally. I highly recommend you write this down though.
3. Come to agreements. Imagine a blank piece of paper with three columns. Like a giant version of "| | |"
In the far left column, write "goals" at the top (that was step 2).
In the middle column write "Agreements". When you agree on common goals, write them down.
In the far right column write "Actions". Now you know you can agree to a detailed list of actions to take towards these new goals.
Simple, but not easy. "How will I know when to set these goals?"
You ask? As I've spoken about before in the seasons of relationships (which you can watch if you send me a message and ask for the training for free), relationships are predictable.
There will be a season where the couples been focussing all their energy on taking care of a child, pet, business, house, whatever they've chosen to care for and contribute back to the collective with.
After about 2 to 5 years, there will be a natural shift for the couple.
Depending on their willingness to create change and invest in themselves, they'll start to focus on building new dreams.
Every time I've guided a couple through relationship excellence training, they become ready because they've let go of so much stress and dogma from their own families that impacts how they relate, love and care for things together, they feel lighter, and dreaming is easier.
Then This is the activity I guide them through (it's a bit easier and faster with my guidance to get them crystal clear on everything they'd love to experience, but this should still be useful if you apply it with your partner)
It's been super cool doing this with couples and individuals to watch them realise for the first time they want to start a passion project business, move to a new city, travel and go an adventures with the kids, build their wealth together, deepen their intimacy and quality time together.
And then to watch them implodent because it's what they're excited about truly for them, is awesome.
They take massive action because the goal is new aligned.
Instead of actions based off of an imagined story that's symbolic of unrecognised fear.
So many different discoveries that wouldn't have been possible from the inside looking out.
Getting a birds eye view of your relationship is priceless to your wellbeing, kids or whatever you care for, and your future freedom.
I'm encouraging you to do this four part task.
Don't trust me, see if it's useful for yourself.
I'd love to hear how it went though if you'll tell me.
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